Lonely is the first word that comes to mind, even though I had a supportive partner and family, I still felt very isolated as a first time and second time mother. The sleepless nights and long days have such an impact on my mental health.

I remember the ups and downs of delivery. Feeling so grateful that my baby was healthy and in my arms, but also feeling scared and disappointed at the complications that took place during it. The joy of watching my babies grow and the anxiety and intrusive thoughts about their well being. A rollercoaster of emotions and a transition from life before being a mom, to being a mom to one and then to a mom of two.

I wish there had been more check ins with family doctors or nurses on a monthly basis and not just one home visit. I am not sure even that much is still done. I wish I had known to reach out more to friends and family instead of internalizing it all. And that’s what I would tell someone in my situation: Connect with your supports. Lean on people, even if that is hard for you. Find mommy and me groups. They helped get me out of the house and engage with other parents.

When I look back on that time, what stands out is that it was harder than I expected it to be. Especially with my second daughter who was born during Covid lockdown. But it also stands out that it was also a wonderful time that I got to spend and bond with my little girls and grow our family. I am so grateful to have the privilege to watch them grow and change in their own person.

Thank you so much for creating this space to share our stories of transition, birth, loss. It is truly a beautiful thing that you are creating.

—RF